Solution: Earphones
Answer: SPEECH AMBIOPHONICS

Written by Eunice Wong

The first step is to realise that these are all lines from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. And no, your earphones aren’t broken - some lines are only playing on the right or left audio channels. Note the next word (clued by “what’s next?” in the flavourtext), as well as the act and scene numbers of each line. A full script can be found here.

AUDIO EXCERPT ACT SCENE NEXT WORD CHANNEL
MARULLUS
    Where is thy leather apron and thy rule?
    What dost thou with thy best apparel on?
    You, sir, what trade
1 1 are right
OCTAVIUS
    What man is that?
MESSALA
    My master's man. Strato, where is thy master?
STRATO
    Free from the bondage you
5 5 are right
BRUTUS
    Let us not wrangle: bid them move away;
    Then in my tent, enlarge your griefs,
    And I will give you
4 2 audience right
First Citizen
    What is your name?
Second Citizen
    Whither are you going?
Third Citizen
    Where do you dwell?
Fourth Citizen
    Are you a married man or a bachelor?
Second Citizen
    Answer every man directly.
3 3 ay normal
ANTONY
    I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
    The evil that men do lives after them;
    The good is oft interred with their bones;
    So let it
3 2 be normal
Soothsayer
    That I have, lady: if it will please Caesar
    To be so good to Caesar as to hear me,
    I shall
2 4 beseech left
CAESAR
    What can be avoided
    Whose end is purposed by the mighty gods?
    Yet
2 2 Caesar normal
LUCILIUS
    I dare assure thee that no enemy
    Shall ever take alive the noble Brutus:
    The gods
5 4 defend left
BRUTUS
    He then unto the ladder turns his back,
    Looks in the clouds, scorning the base
2 1 degrees right
CAESAR
    What, Brutus!
CASSIUS
    Pardon, Caesar; Caesar, pardon:
    As low as to thy foot doth Cassius fall,
    To beg
3 1 enfranchisement left
CASSIUS
    A man no mightier than thyself or me
    In personal action, yet prodigious grown
    And fearful, as these strange
1 3 eruptions normal
ARTEMIDORUS
    Take heed of Cassius;
    come not near Casca; have an
2 3 eye left
BRUTUS
    I do not, till you practise them on me.
CASSIUS
    You love me not.
BRUTUS
    I do not like your faults.
CASSIUS
    A friendly
4 3 eye left
PINDARUS
    Mark Antony is in your tents, my lord
CASSIUS
    This hill is far enough. Look, look, Titinius;
    Are those my tents where
5 3 I normal
ANTONY
    Therefore let our alliance be combined,
    Our best friends made, our means stretch'd
    And let us presently go sit in council,
    How covert matters may be best disclosed,
    And
4 1 open normal
CASSIUS
    I have not from your eyes that gentleness
    And show of love as I was wont to have:
    You bear too stubborn and too strange a hand
1 2 over right
BRUTUS
    For I perceive
    But cold demeanour in Octavius' wing,
    And sudden push gives them the
5 2 overflow left
OCTAVIUS
    I was not born to die on Brutus' sword.
BRUTUS
    O, if thou wert the noblest of thy strain,
    Young man, thou couldst not die more honourable.
CASSIUS
    A
5 1 peevish left

The identified next words have been presented in alpha order, suggesting some reordering is needed. They also all have a first syllable that sounds like a letter. Caesar shift the letter +1 if the audio was on the right channel, -1 if the audio was on the left channel, and 0 if the audio was playing out of both channels. Lastly, reorder by scene and act numbers.

ACT SCENE NEXT WORD LETTER CHANNEL SHIFT CORRECT LETTER
1 1 are R right +1 S
1 2 over O right +1 P
1 3 eruptions E normal 0 E
2 1 degrees D right +1 E
2 2 Caesar C normal 0 C
2 3 eye I left -1 H
2 4 beseech B left -1 A
3 1 enfranchisement N left -1 M
3 2 be B normal 0 B
3 3 ay I normal 0 I
4 1 open O normal 0 O
4 2 audience O right +1 P
4 3 eye I left -1 H
5 1 peevish P left -1 O
5 2 overflow O left -1 N
5 3 I I normal 0 I
5 4 defend D left -1 C
5 5 are R right +1 S

The answer is SPEECH AMBIOPHONICS.


Author's notes

This puzzle answer was screaming out to be an audio puzzle, and I thought using audio panning would be a simple way to indicate a Caesar shift. Coincidentally enough, Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar has the same number of scenes as letters in the puzzle answer, and I was excited to be able to discover each letter sound, + or -1, in order of scenes (apologies for the slightly questionable “audience” for “O” sound in Act 4, Scene 2).

The audio was taken from here, except for Act 5, Scene 4, which was taken from here.